This was a copywriting challenge at the School today - to come up with words for a Barnardo's advert to go with the image. The image was from BBH's "fuck off" print ad, but we didn't know this until after we'd produced our version.
This is mine. Note that the Art Direction is mine, i.e. very shoddy, so just concentrate on the words.
(click to see full size)
Just a quick thought about how we can use copywriting tricks and techniques without thinking about it. I was reading this excellent guide, and in particular the section on parallelism. It describes it as "the deliberate repetition of a particular word, phrasing or sentence structure for effect". So, for a really simple example, "Don't just do it, B&Q it".
Then I was listening to a copy of the new album by Brit pop-punkers You Me At Six, and a rather emo breakup anthem called "This Is The First Thing". The chorus goes...
This is the first thing I thought
This is the last thing that I want
You were the first one I loved
You were the first love I lost
Really simple, but with different words, it wouldn't be half as catchy. Perhaps singer Josh Franchesci has an alternative career ahead of him.
Just got hold of "The Copy Book" from the one-breasted internet shop of the Americas. Will write more about that later, but I got inspired to write a little long copy, in the good old days before 3 words and a QR code were all you needed. This is for Trent Barton, a bus company in Nottingham who have a refreshing approach to customer relations.
I did it in a bit of a hurry, but just needed to get a few ideas down - so tomorrow I'll look back on this and want to change everything. Think of it as a first draft.
I'm going to have to be political and vague in this post, as it involves a creative disagreement at work. I'm also going to change some details.
Let's say we were asked to produce an advert promoting train travel from Oxford to Cambridge to students at the university. My idea was to play on the university rivalry and have the headline...
wouldn't you rather be at Cambridge?
...just something to grab their attention with a little low-key fun-poking.
However, in production, this got changed to just...
rather be at Cambridge?
...which I felt completely ruined the mechanics of the line. Humour, even if it is of the lightest sort as in this case, is . A slight change of phrase can turn a hilarious one-liner into a dull dud, and so it is with copy.
In this case, the quest to make the shortest phrase possible does more than shorten the phrase, it changes its meaning. "Rather be at Cambridge" is an abbreviation of "would you rather be at Cambridge?", not "wouldn't". And that changes the whole tone - it becomes a neutral question rather than the challenging, teasing tone implied by "wouldn't you?". Also, starting the sentence with "wouldn't you" draws the eye because it challenges the reader and entices them into interacting with the advert. "Rather be" is a meaningless, unchallenging way to start a sentence, and in requiring the reader to fill in the words, is actually harder work than the longer version.
It. Makes. Me. Mad.
Had a bite to eat in Pret the other day, and was taken with the packaging of their own-brand food - clearly a lot of effort had gone into it. It's clear and makes its point concisely, but still adding those buzzwords: "lovingly", "fresh", "natural". "Made today, gone today" is a neat and elegant little phrase too.
