2 pieces of atrocious copy that were published

Exhibit 1: a Wimbledon promotion for Jacob's Creek, in the Metro newspaper (click for full size)...

"Has partnered with... to bring alive the brand's philosophy"??? Did they just copy this directly from the Account Manager's email? Did the writer know they would be talking to ordinary humans?

Exhibit 2: Taiwan Excellence...

With the best will in the world, I can hardly take seriously an advert that suggests Taiwan is the only country using innovation in product design, R&D, quality and marketing. What IS unique is their description of this as "innovalue". Perhaps that's what they were trying to say.

Powerful athletes' quivering muscles

Yes, it's the Olympics, and nakedly sexual admiration for the scantily-clad, fat-free, streamlined human body is going to be the nation's top hobby for a month or so. With that in mind, here is the BBC's trail by RKCR/Y&R.

Go fullscreen and HD for full effect:

I mention quivering muscles for a reason - it's actually just one beautiful piece of attention to detail (look at the gymnast on the rings at 0:34) in an animation full of them. A crew of dozens put this together, and no wonder - even though the characters are distorted, it's still one of the finest artificial representations of human movement I've ever seen.

Does it mean much? Not really, apart from a vague aspiration to include the entire country and not just the capital in the Games. It's mostly just an appetite-whetter for an event we know about already. But as a piece of craft, it's hard to beat.

Oh, and it is, of course, nothing like the RKCR ads for Lloyds TSB, whatever the occasional fuckwitted organisation with a vendetta against the BBC might have you believe...

Go (fuck yourself) Compare

I've made a habit on this blog of mentioning projects that my friends mention on social media. And this one is especially satisfying as so many were taken in by it. I'm talking, of course, of Dare's "graffitied" Go Compare billboards that have been appearing round the place.

Here's one friend who was taken in even though he studies advertising...

...and another one who fell for it on Facebook.

As luck would have it, Dare CD Laura Jordan-Bambach was in the School mentoring yesterday and gave us some useful insight into the lengths they went to in order to hoodwink people.

Firstly, they made sure that only one poster in a certain area would appear to be vandalised, to increase the likelihood of someone seeing an unspoiled one. Secondly, they printed the "graffiti" parts at a much higher resolution than the rest of the poster, to make it look more realistic.

It's a useful little lesson into craft and attention to detail - if the campaign hadn't fooled anyone it could have backfired badly.

D&AD Student Pencils / Placement

I've been neglecting this blog a great deal lately, but with good reason. I've had a very busy couple of weeks, on placement at AMV BBDO. More of that later, but big news first.

Olly and I won a D&AD student award for our "EA Peace Day" idea in the Open Brief category. And then we won the award for D&AD Students Of The Year! Here we are with 50% of our awards...

Needless to say we're over the moon, but of course it's as much about the opportunities it opens up as the actual awards. So we're very much hoping to get placements as good as the one we just had, because AMV's system should really be the benchmark.

First of all, they have a system in place - you're looked after by someone outside the Creative department, which actually works wonders. This means that you're not constantly hassling busy creatives for briefs or help - instead, you're making phone calls to Account Managers, Planners, Project Managers - all of whom are invariably happy to help.

There are the little things, too, like the fact that they create an email address for you, and put you on the agency-wide and creative mailing groups. This means that from day one, you actually get emails - and even if they're just telling you that some left an iPhone in the 3rd floor ladies', they still make you feel part of the organisation.

Oh, and they pay placement teams, and there's free porridge before 9am. What more could you want?

What The Shitting Fuck #6 - Kia Euro 2012 sponsorship

Who the fuck are these people?
Why have they been invited to play at a national football match?

If by some weird chance they are a famous enough band to play at a major event, why are they travelling in a small, cheap car?

Why are they bringing along the instruments with them in a car, rather having them safely transported with the rest of the equipment in professional flight cases?

Why, if they're playing a massive gig at a football stadium, do they need to practice the song on the way there, and get it wrong to boot? Why aren't they better prepared?

When they're singing in the car, whose is the second female voice harmonising with the girl in front? If it's one of the men singing falsetto, why are none of them moving their lips?

Why are they playing a cover instead of one of their own songs?

What has playing a song about being secretly gay or bisexual got to do with small cars or major football events?

Why do they need to drive the car onto the pitch?

I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for it all.

A Sunday Afternoon (more photos)

Just like yesterday, I was on a quest to ward off boredom, so set off out again. First up, some place near Borough was having an open gardens day so I met up with some friends, taking in a statue of King Alfred and a nice spiky flower:

There was also a book stall. I assume this isn't the book on which Mike Leigh's film was based.

And then to the London Transport Museum. Almost too much to blog about - possibly the most lingering memory will be a weirdly unsettling incident where a little girl asked me to help her find her Mother. Which sounds fairly normal, but she was literally dragging me by the hand to get me to take her to another bit of the museum. In the end I found a member of staff to take care of it, but it was very very odd.

Anyway, the highlights included a nice reminder that some things never change, some old school copywriting, and one of the best bits of art direction / illustration I've seen in a while:

And lastly, the chap at the desk said they didn't have any free maps of the place - I either had to buy one or take one of those they give kids as a challenge to keep them occupied.

Well, I've never been one to turn down a challenge.

A Saturday Afternoon.

Mrs Cutcopywrite is away at a festival this weekend so I decided not to mope around the flat for 2 days, and headed off to the Imperial War Museum.

Before I got there, I was wandering past a dance school, and noticed there was a free art exhibition on. So I looked at it, my attempts to understand it soundtracked by muffled thumping from the rehearsal rooms above.

I liked this one, entitled "Film Poster" (click to see full size and read it):

When I got into the IWM, there was a young toddler screaming. Later on, I was looking at a display on the Blitz and it was still screaming. At first it was annoying, but then it occurred to me that it was perhaps displaying the most appropriate response to the horrors and stories on display. More appropriate, certainly, than the 3 young men wandering through the Holocaust Exhibit, chatting about their favourite comedy programmes.

Having suffered the Holocaust, as it were, I decided to give the Crime Against Humanity film a miss, though I was intrigued by the warning at the entrance:

I'd like to think the disturbances are caused by distress, but I suspect that most are protests from those with a pathological blindness to the atrocities committed by their state of origin. Of course, it's the same mental myopia that means we have Holocaust Exhibitions in the first place.

And if that seems a sobering thought to end on, then fear not - I'm just about to watch some football, make a rich carbonara, and start on my second Corona.

Being touched by a writer

This post is a response to Ran Stallard's blog post earlier this year, entitled "why do you like it?".

I was delighted to see that someone else had picked up on one of my favourite quotations, from Alan Bennett's The History Boys.

“The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - that you’d thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you’ve never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it’s as if a hand has come out and taken yours.”

Even out of context, it's immensely powerful. But Ran posed a further question, which is why we like a particular piece of advertising. And although it may seem insufferably pretentious to compare an advert to an Alan Bennett play, it's actually for a not wholly unconnected reason.

A good advert should feel like an undiluted message from the writer to the reader (or viewer). It shouldn't appear to be filtered and approved and altered and tweaked, it should feel like they wrote that headline on a piece of paper and passed it to you across a table. It should feel human.

I don't believe a great ad can be written by a copywriter whose first thought was "is this on brand?", or who was sticking to a brief or watching their tone of voice. I think most were written after the second whiskey, at 3am on a sleepless night, or perhaps in a contemplative moment on the toilet.

Inspiration doesn't always strike. Sometimes an advert has to be forced out through a convoluted haze of logic, lists, and Roget's. But you're never going to reach out and touch someone with work like that.

Thieving Bastards, nicking Tyre Slogans

Have a look at this advert for Goodyear. Not sure who produced it, but it's a fairly typical example of economics (will need to work in several different languages) trumping creativity. Then ask yourself if there's anything familiar about the slogan.

That's right. "100% better prepared for the unexpected". Nothing at all like Tony Kaye's classic 1993 ad for Dunlop, with it's "Tested for the Unexpected" line. I mean, it's not like they're both ads for a similar product or anything.

Of course, when it comes down to it, it's not the plagiarism that offends - it's that they take the same idea and offer up such a weak travesty of an ad.

Make them sit up and listen

I wasn't paying attention to the adverts just now; I was sitting at my laptop idly looking through Twitter. And for whatever reason - Twitter, the ironing, an unexpected sexual favour - we have to face the fact that this is how a lot of us watch (or don't watch) television advertising.

But then an advert came on that got my attention from sound alone. Not with words, but pure sound - and in this case, the simple aural effect of taking repeating a short clip and making it go faster and faster.

I sincerely hope this is intentional on the part of the agency (Brother and Sisters) - because it really works.

This shit biscuit ad is a HIT.

Watch it. Just WATCH IT. It's by Forever Beta (no, me neither).

So here's the interesting thing. I was at a talk the other day for a book launch (this one), and Steve Henry was talking about how "weird shit" starts conversations. It's always the weird, wonderful, and woeful that we talk about.

So I wondered, could this utterly shit piece of work actually be more successful than a competent but not exceptional advert? As it happens, I blogged about that exact thing a while ago - an ad for McVitie's Quirks.

YouTube video for the Quirks ad - uploaded 4 months ago / 6,800 views
YouTube video for the Hit Biscuits ad - uploaded 30 days ago / 55,757 views

I can also state that I've seen the Hit Biscuits ad shared at least 3 times on my Social Networks, and I've personally shown it to number of people.

Just worth bearing in mind next time you produce an ad and think "well it won't win any awards, but it's decent enough".

Have I got any fucking clue what I'm talking about?

Dave Trott recently had some harsh words to say about an aspiring creative who had come to interview him, and rather unwisely fell into a large bear-trap.

His first mistake was to utter the word "story-telling", which was already on the man's mind. His second was to be unable to articulate any convincing definition of the term. As a result, Mr Trott was moved to ask 2 questions:

1. What’s good about [storytelling]? What’s new about it?

Well there's a lot good about it, and some of it is new - though by no means all.

The simplest explanation I can muster is that having a narrative tends to be more memorable than just presenting information. It's why Jesus didn't just say "being good to people is more important than where you come from"; he told the story of the Good Samaritan instead.

So it certainly isn't a new invention, inside or outside advertising. But I think there has been a trend towards integrated campaigns that tell a story - sometimes one that requires active engagement across several forms of media to fully understand. The "Why So Serious?" campaign for The Dark Knight is probably the benchmark for such efforts.

And this is probably the reason for the vague response. No-one's quite sure whether they mean the general principle of memorable narratives, or the specific technique of telling a story across multiple media.

2. How come we are using words and phrases and expressions that we don’t know the meaning of?

Because there's an immense pressure upon students these days to impress their industry elders. Here I am, doing it in this blog, though hopefully with marginally more success than the sacrificial lamb in Mr Trott's office. In fact, much of this blog is my attempt to make sense of the half-formed thoughts and learnings bouncing around my head any given week.

We're constantly told that we need to stand out. That there's so much competition for every placement. That we need to know about the industry before we get into it. What are your favourite ads? What ads don't you like? Which agency made them? What kind of work do you want to produce? And the result is, a generation of students all talking confidently and knowingly about agencies they've never even seen the front door of.

In fact, the more I see of agencies, as I go around getting my beloved book looked at, the more I realise that the less I know. I've nearly finished my advertising course, but that's only a fraction of my learning.

All that matters is having a great book and the gumption to show it to the right people. The rest is just listening and learning. And if more students were taught that, the future of advertising might feel a little more secure.

Adam + Eve's journey

So A+E have just been bought by Omnicom for £60 million and merged with DDB. I'm not a businessman, but I assume that's a result they're pretty happy with. Not to mention the outstanding creative work and crowded trophy cabinet they've assembled in such a short time.

But what were people saying when they started out?

I chanced upon this blog from 2008, mentioning that the then youthful agency were looking for placement teams. There was quite a response in the comments section - here are some of the highlights...

"A&E, clues in the name."
"I'd be very wary about taking a job at Adam and Eve. They're undoubtedly going to be the new (less creative) CHI"
"Look at the work to come out of rainey's during ben dave and james tenure. utter pile of crap. doubt A&E will be any different."
"All these up-and-coming startups make me laugh"
"Do not, whatever you do, go work for Ben Priest. He can't be trusted, nor can his creative judgement."
"But without a CD or planning director with the gravitas and talent to serve as a counterbalance, A&E will only ever be a first-rate account shop."

To be fair, the blog in general seems to be a bit of a bridge for embittered creatives and wannabe creatives to lurk under, but it's interesting nonetheless.

What I take from it is not to automatically trust the received wisdom on any particular agency. Sure, I'd love to work for a great agency. But I'd equally like to help one that isn't currently making many waves to achieve greatness.

For instance, my team has attracted some interest from an agency with a strong DM background, which is neither my strongest suit nor my greatest interest. But I understand that they are hoping to become a more integrated shop - so perhaps there's an opportunity there to help blaze that trail.

After all, who would you rather be: a White House intern ferrying around coffee and documents, or the guy who interned for Obama back in Illinois and now works in an office 2 doors from the oval one?

I don't care about new technology

I don't care about new inventions and new websites and apps and social media platforms, either.

I tried. I subscribed to Mashable, I followed industry gurus on Twitter. I read articles about nanotechnology and robots and Pinterest and clouds.

And in the end, I just gave up. But with good reason.

First of all, there's always going to be someone who knows more about it than you. Just like however big your record collection is, John Peel's was bigger. And in an ad agency, I'll probably be surrounded by sharp young and not-so-young things who embrace every new fad 6 months before anyone else.

But that's the point. I'm not interested in technology, I'm interested in people. I'll get curious about something 6 months down the line when my brother and my friends and the guy in Accounts show some sign of understanding it. I got into advertising to communicate with people; to better understand what drives them to choose one thing over another.

People get paid a lot of money to spot trends and predict the future. That's fine. But it's not what I want to do. I want to make adverts and tell stories that millions of people can relate to and actually enjoy. That's all.

No puns? Fuck off.

There's nothing wrong with a pun if you (a) make it funny, and (b) make it relevant to the campaign - or in this case, the topical event in question.

So all hail "Ma'amite" - a genius piece of opportunism by DDB.

It's worth noting the attention to detail too. There are the corgis who love it or hate it. The copy (including another pun in "toasting"). The Union Jack. The crown made from a toast rack.

Love it.

Dock your Alliteration Allowance

I love a little alliteration. Assonance has a certain resonance, too. But it can easily be taken too far - either by just coming across too student-y, or sacrificing meaning for artistry.

Take this ad for Nurofen as an example. The text tells you it gets to work in 10 minutes.

But travelling from Heathrow to Regent's Park via tube (where the advert is being placed) takes nearly an hour. In their desperation to find Hs and Rs, they've completely obscured the point of the advert. If I took nurofen at Heathrow and was only getting relief by Regent's Park, I'd be pretty disappointed in the product.

Illusory chocolate treats

I eat Kit-Kats quite a lot. Not in a "I only eat baked beans and Wotsits for dinner" way, just that if I fancy a chocolate biscuit, it'll most likely be a Kit-Kat.

Occasionally, you'll find that one finger, or even both, is missing its wafer and is basically all chocolate. And when that happens, I'm delighted. But why?

If I prefer "all chocolate" over "chocolate and wafer biscuit", why did I buy a Kit-Kat in the first place? Why didn't I buy a Dairy Milk or a Yorkie?

It's interesting, what we can convince ourselves is a bonus. Would they sell more if they said that 1 in every 1000 fingers had no wafer?

Evian's counter-intuitive art direction

Companies so often get the ads in the corridors of Oxford Circus station so badly wrong. They always fail to realise that customers just sweep past them close by, propelled in a near-stampede of rushing bodies. Yet some of these brands put extensive text on their ads, irregardless of the hold up and possible assault caused by anyone actually stopping to read them.

The exceptions are the clothes brands whose shops greet you when you reach the surface - H&M, Top Shop, Gap, Uniqlo - who use simple branding and large, attractive pictures to say "make sure you visit US". Here's a typical example (it's from Berlin, but the art direction is the same):

So it was nice today to see Evian using the space intelligently and deliberately aping the clothes stores' style to attract attention. The disconnect between the art direction and the product, in this particular position, created enough cognitive dissonance to make me think consciously about the advert - which is a good deal more than half the challenge in these situations.

Of course, I'll just buy whatever bottled water is cheapest and then fill that bottle up with tap water until I need to buy a new one. I'm not a fucking moron. But it's a good try.

Getting book crits? Some tips...

Well my partner Olly and I have been taking our book to a fair few people lately, and although it hardly makes me an expert, it does mean that the experience is extremely fresh in my mind. So, based on our efforts, and stealing a little advice from others, here are my top tips for getting the most out of portfolio crits (and getting them in the first place).

• Any communication medium can be used to arrange a crit - one of ours was arranged via Instagram.
• Don't be discouraged when Creatives and Creative Directors don't reply to your emails. They're busy. Chase up politely after a while, but you can't win them all.
• Be prepared to be flexible and adjust to their schedule - expect last-minute changes.
• Don't just approach the Creative Directors. Junior Creative teams can be the most helpful of all, especially when you're just getting started. They have more recent experience of the application process, and they're more likely to have quality time to spend with you than the CD.
• Keep a spreadsheet with "campaigns" along the top, and "crits" along the side. Then colour the squares green for "loved it", orange for "needs some work", and red for "lose it". Then, you can see at a glance how your projects are going down. You can also use the space to make a note of specific comments or suggestions.
• Never ever go back for a second crit without making significant changes to the portfolio. Push the work further, add in new projects. What they want to see is progress.
• Have something in your book that tells the reader something about you. They're not just hiring the work, they're hiring the people.
• Be aware of the agency you're going to before deciding what projects to put in. AMV BBDO may like to see plausible above the line campaigns for major consumer brands, whereas Mother might appreciate a more slanted, warped approach.
• BUT have the courage of your convictions, too. We met a team who were told by Nick Gill at BBH to drop one of their campaigns. They came back to see him and stuck to their guns, and still got the placement. And then a job.
• And don't try to be all things to all men. (a) You'll never achieve it, and (b) it'll make your book look bland and directionless.
• Remember to end every crit by asking to come and see them again.

And just remember, as the old saying goes: opinions are like arseholes; fun to explore and rewarding to probe.

Unite V (Young Creative Council event)

On Wednesday night, Olly and I went down to this event, and damn it, if it wasn't the most worthwhile decision we've made so far in our careers. At the end of the day we came away with several business cards, a handful of invitations to visit agencies, and an immediate offer of a placement.

The first half of the night consisted of a "Creative Stand-Up" session, with each of the 20 teams being given 2 minutes on stage to do - well, whatever they liked. It's fair to say the results were mixed; those teams who went went for a funny approach tended to either triumphed or bombed. Still, at least they gave it a go - the teams that just showed some work didn't really impress anyone.

We ploughed a middle course, talking about our 3 golden rules of advertising, and plugging our portfolio at every opportunity without actually showing the work. And it seemed to do the trick - we had plenty of industry guys coming over to look at the what we'd previewed, and luckily none of them seemed to think we were all mouth and no skinny jeans, so we just about pulled it off.

My only regret is that because we were so busy manning our corner, we didn't really get chance to network with other students or check out their work - but the atmosphere seemed to be one of friendly rivalry, and I think YCC can take a great deal of credit for the good-humoured nature of the evening. Overall they're just a fantastic organisation and I can't recommend getting involved with them highly enough.